Friday, January 28, 2011

Mental anxiety in children ( venting my thoughts)

Our family has been dealing with some very tough issues lately. Not only do I have anxiety and have had it for Years, I have noticed some of the same tendancies in my girls for the last year or so. It was not till the last month or so that it became apparent that it has taken over their lives. One of the girls is currently having to see a therapist and we are not making too much progress.Hours of crying at nights and trying to relieve some stress. What makes it worse are the girls at school that cause so much trouble for them it is rediculous. I have a few that talk to me so disrespectfully on facebook etc. that it makes me wonder how they talk to their own parents
 If there getting along its all good but the minute they fight the entire 5th grade is put against... you guessed it them. A set of twin boys actually threw grapes at them in the cafeteria while the other girls just laughed. It seriously reminds me of the movie Mean girls with Lindsey Lohan. I just keep telling the girls you be the Nice popular not the bratty ones.They tell me if your nice around those girls you will never be popular. This is 5th grade!!! What the?????? Who cares? They are so stinkin cute they do not need any of that.
There is much stress over school and school work. My girls have always been at the very top of the class coming home with straight 4's which is above grade level. One is now 2's and three's..which is not bad mind you, but I have seen how it is affecting their school work.One doesn't even think she is smart anymore because she blacks out in math.
So the question is what do I do as a mother? I cannot home school I am not smart enough .lol. I do not want to teach my kids to escape their problems either. We will continue to seek therapy. i am done talking to other kids parents it gets us nowhere and I hate confrontations they actually give me anxiety. Prayer has been what I am turning too.
 It is so hard to see your children suffer. It is so hard to think I may have caused a lot of their fears and anxieties as well. While Scott was working in Nevada for two years I would lock us all in my room and put a chair behind the door. This was my anxiety coming through. What did that teach my children at such a young age? to be afraid of the world. I hate it that I did that! I have since learned how to control my anxiety and fear holds no place currently for me, but my sweet girls have it and it is ripping our hearts into pieces for them.
To hear a child say "I hate the world it is evil" , " why do we even have to have school or why do we even need friends?", " I wish I could just die and never have these problems", these words should never be heard from an 11 year old. I really hope therapy works and I more than hope that parents teach their children to love one another.I know kids will be kids and kids are cruel, But there has got to be something wrong with todays society for it to start so young. I never ever remember elementary school being a stressful time in my life as it has been for my children.
What kills me is that my girls have so much going for them and they do not even see it anymore. Thank goodness we do have the few dance teachers, school teachers and us of course Scott and I to remind them of their self worth or I am afraid what the consequences may be. Especially when they say they would rather be dead.
I always thought those girls would have it easy. Everyone seemed to like them where ever they went. Until this last year.It reminds me of a rumor started about me in High school that ruined one year of it for me. But that was 11th grade not grade school.
So i will continue on this road of seeking after the Lords help in knowing what is the right thing to do. Nothing is more important to me than the mental health of my family.
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